If you’re injured, navigating a long rehab process, or simply carrying a lot, I see you. I know what it feels like to have your identity shaken and wonder who you are without your sport. One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn as an athlete is how to process identity grief. Not just injury or setbacks, but the loss of who you thought you were.
It took me a long time to understand how rigid my athletic identity had become until adversity forced me into an abrupt loss and lack of control. I coped in a way that felt familiar. I tried to outwork it all. I chased control to manage pain, performance, and my identity. I thought that proving my strength, competency, and resiliency would resolve the pain of feeling broken. If you’ve been there too, you understand the heaviness that comes with it. It burns you out, teaches you how to push past your limits, and creates a state of internal conflict & tension.
What I eventually learned about true strength and resilience is that pushing past your limits will eventually result in an unsustainable denial of your needs. If you’re trying to rehab or rebuild performance, those needs matter. Physical tolerance is one thing, and emotional tolerance is another. They are complimentary and neither can be neglected. Allowing things to feel messy, relinquishing control, and still trusting the process is actually quite uncomfortable. Honestly, it is still a work in progress and daily practice for me.
Recently, as I’ve been training through grief, things have looked quite different. Some days I am just going through the motions. Some days I train with tears and frustration. Some days my “old self” seems gone. If you’ve felt that too, you’re now alone. I’ve made a daily habit of journaling my sessions – all the feelings alongside the training data. When the messiness feels overwhelming, this process allows me to still hold something tangible. It helps me see that progress can happen on low days, even if they are strung together over months. As someone who has trained with high intensity for years, I am starting to learn that consistency > intensity. Not to say intensity is bad. I am just learning that acknowledging where you are is the most honest and compassionate thing you can do for yourself.
If you’re in a rehab phase or just carrying a lot right now, please remember that you don’t need to be perfect and you don’t need to force it. But you do deserve to keep showing up, and you deserve support in doing so. Through this process, you can rebuild trust in yourself, and move through grief and you heal. If you are an athlete, who is looking for support and guidance in the rehab to performance process, schedule a consultation call with us today to see how we can best support you and your goals.